Embracing Summer’s Lessons: A Time for Reflection and Growth

This past summer has been a whirlwind, at least for me. Planning an international Women's Summit and keeping up with the business on the sideline was a journey in itself. It was intense and long hours. Being responsible for such a big event meant I had a lot in my head. It also meant that the running around prior and during the event had me not eating the best and not always sleeping the best.

Stress around all things was evident: will everyone be picked up on time at the airport? Will the food be good and enough? Will the conference speakers deliver? Will I meet my budget? Will the décor be on point? Will all my visions of what I am creating come to fruition?

I could hear and feel my body inviting, asking, almost pleading for me to STOP, to breathe, to take a moment, to create space for myself. I would hear it and take a few minutes here and there for a deeper breath, a quick morning meditation (but not everyday – stepping out of my routine), or to prepare myself a healthy meal.

Where I was failing to truly honor my body was being out of consistency with what my body was craving as I kept working until the midnight hour, many nights, the month prior to the summit.

Then my mind kicked in with “As soon as this is done, I will have time and space”, which is the trap we fall into. We push it further away, we make it so that we are almost invincible, we will succeed no matter what! I am sure many of you have told yourself that at least once in your life.

The thing is… it’s not the best way to handle high stress moments, it’s not the way to create a life filled with more ease and peace. I can say, in my 50 + years that I have never stepped in the world of Burn Out but… during the month prior to the event, it was creeping up. I did not quite see it that way but I knew that my body was feeling tired and my routine was starting to fall apart.

Two days after the summit, It did hit me, I quickly realized that burnout was very close. I was literally on the edge of it. How did I know? My tell tale sign was NAPS!

Ha, yes, naps. For almost 2 weeks after the summit, I took a minimum 2-hour nap pretty much every day and it was a no-brainer. I needed it. I would walk in the door and go directly to the couch and OUT... like a light! One day I walked up 10 stairs, dropped my bag, fell on the couch and my heart was beating out of my chest. It felt intense and I knew that rest was indeed needed.

So wherever I was, whatever I was doing, if it became evident that my body was saying stop and needed rest, I did. 2 to 3 hour naps were almost a daily thing for two weeks. At times I would close my eyes for a mini breath or meditation moment, or I would simply sit and observe my surroundings.

The most important thing was - I STOPPED!

I was also noticing brain fog, sluggish energy and at night I would have a hard time falling asleep.

I always say, the body knows best and I am always asking the question "Am I listening to my body... truly listening?" Well, I was listening. I knew something was up a couple of weeks prior to the Summit but I also knew, if I stopped and dropped the ball the summit would not have been a success because all the information was in my brain... a lot of it! So I pushed... yup. but with the intention of rest afterwards.

What surprised me, once the summit was over, was me not realizing just how much my body needed the rest or maybe it was me being in denial of just how much my body needed the rest.

So I listened. I stopped, I did not look at emails for a few days, rested, cleaned up the summit boxes and organization a bit at a time instead pushing through to get it done fast. Fast or slow, the job was going to get done.

I took time to look at my business when I was ready after the summit to see how things were going within my own company. I am super grateful that I had an amazing co-op student who kept things moving and shifting while I was buried in the Summit moments.

I have pondered in my quieter moments since the summit, <why do we let ourselves get to this point? Why do we put it on our shoulders to create something without the help that is needed?>

“The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.” - Sydney J. Harris

Let it be known that I did ask for help and was refused what was needed to have more efficiency within the Summit - as I believe asking for help and support is a big key to anyone moving through big moments.

Why did I do the extras and WOW’s, I could have dropped many ideas and activities during the event but I chose to keep them all. I could have offered simple spaces and moments during the Summit instead of attuning to each detail.

Was it ego? Was it the little voice inside me saying “I don’t do things half ass and I am not going to start now” Was it the pressure of looking good in front of everyone? Was it the perfectionism in me that I could not let go? Was it a genuine feeling of “I want to do a good job” and add to that… no matter what!

I still am not sure of the full answers to all these questions but one thing that I do know for sure is that as I take on new clients, new opportunities, new ways of working in my business, I will be at the center of it all, taking care of me. I will stay connected and in tune with my routine, I will listen to the call for rest and relaxation and find balance with play and work.

Life is a journey, a destination we choose to embark on that creates opportunities for learning, for growth, for renewal, for rest, for stopping and re-assessing, for creating new paths, for letting go and attracting new and better ways to move through life with ease, joy and grace.

I can truly say, that after two weeks and a half of slowing down like the turtle, finding a more steady and welcoming pace, my body is feeling better, I am sleeping better, eating better and tuning back inwards to my inner sanctuary.

It feels good, it feels nurturing and I am ready to continue my own path of stepping inwards to step up as I invite more of what I love in my daily world